A CLEAN SWEEP

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A CLEAN SWEEP

http://www.aclean-sweep.com

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A LITTLE HUMOUR FOR YOU

HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.

   George Phillips , an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi,was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in t he shed stealing things.
   He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"
   He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.
   Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available.."
   George said, "Okay."
   He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again.
   "Hello,I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed.. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot and killed them both, the dogs are eating them right now." and he hung up.
   Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Heli-copter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.
   One of the Policemen said to George , "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
    (True Story) I LOVE IT! Don't mess with old people. Live well, laugh often, love much!!!

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Six year old Lisa was very good at doing cart- wheels. She came home and told her mommy, the the little boys always wanted her to do cart-wheels. Her mommy told her, they only wanted her to do cart-wheels so they could see her panties. Little Lisa said, " I know. mommy. that is why I took my panties off and put them in my back-pack.

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Eighty year old Bessie, walked into the lounging area of the nursing home where she lived, held up her fist and said, "If anyone can guess what I have in my hand, they can have sex with me tonight.

An old fellow said, "A elephant."

Bessie thought about that for a couple seconds and said, "That's close enough."

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This young hillbilly said to his father, "Dad, I want to marry Lisa Kirk."

His dad said, "Now son you must know, that I got around a lot when I was a young man and I hate to tell you this, but she may be your sister and you would not want to marry your sister.

The young man was disappointed but went his way. But every time he told his dad he wanted to marry a girl, his dad gave him the same reason. Finally the young man went and told his mother, what his dad had said.

His mother said, "Son, don't pay any attention to him, because, I got around a lot when I was a young girl and he ain't even your daddy."